Friday, October 23, 2009

It's Working--slow but sure

Our life has been pretty crazy lately. Adam's busy with the fall rush of construction, trying to meet a deadline for the house they're building, putting plans together for a new spec house to build yet this fall, Butlers, Converge, so on and so forth. I just have to keep reminding myself that this season too shall pass, even if it's a couple years down the road, it too shall pass.

I have been so blessed to be able to stay at home all the while with not only my own kids, but as of late, my nephew Orin-while his mommy does some subbing at the local middle school. It has been so great getting to spend time with Orin and seeing my own kids interact with him. Lilly is such a mommy.

This brings me to my main topic. Lilly. She is going through some major changes right now. She's trying to adapt to 2 little siblings and discovering her own will. Adam and I have had to really bare down and be extra consistent with her, in lots of areas of her life-general schedule, naptime, bedtime, discipline, how she talks, how she acts.

I feel like we have always found it crucial to be consistent but as she's gotten older and gained siblings, it's so much MORE important. When she directly disobeys us, she is not only disobeying us and the Lord, she is showing her siblings how to disobey. This is so dangerous, especially when Thatcher is in super copy mode. It seems like Adam & I could be kind of lenient before we would simply verbally correct her and go on. Now, once Lilly is disobedient or disrespectful she is verbally corrected and if it continues a spanking is necessary. She knows what we expect out of her and the second she deviates from those expectations, a verbal talk is needed, we can no longer shrug it off. (Her and I have had numerous heart to heart talks in her bedroom) It will only get worse and worse if the situation is not taken care of right away. I definitely feel like we are breaking her spirit--not breaking as in ruining it, but breaking as in breaking a wild horse. Does that make sense??

Now, when her attitude starts to turn negative or she starts bullying her brother, all I have to do is look at her because she knows what I expect of her. I will catch her correcting herself now. Instead of "Mommy, help me." She'll say, "Mommy, may you help me?" (even though it s/b will you help me, but I will correct that later). If she doesn't correct herself, we will say, "Lilly, try again" and she knows what we mean.

She's to the point now that she really needs meaningful attention from daddy AND mommy. We can no more just go through the day without making Lilly time. Bedtime is a disaster if we don't have this special time for her.

Those are the 2 areas where we've had to concentrate a lot of time, 1)her spirit and 2)her quality time

Lilly, we love you dearly and love the little girl who you have become. Stay strong, stay energetic and stay close to us. We love everything about you!! ~Mom & Dad


  1. Yes, yes and YES!!!!!!!!!

    I can SO relate to this post Kim!!!!

    We are going through the EXACT same thing with Jackson.

    Man OH MAN ... it can be exhausting can't it sometimes, but all of the hard work in discipling and consistency will pay off in the long run.

    You are a GREAT mommy Kim!!!

  2. Oh My, it was great to hear that from you Corinne. I didn't know if it was just a Lilly thing or a girl thing or what. I am so relieved just to let you know.